“Hey, Coach, Can I Talk to You?”

It was a phrase we preached to our athletes from day one. We collectively as
a group (coaches) do not like surprises. If you have to miss practice,
communicate. If you got hurt goofing around outside of practice,
communicate. If you feel you are not getting enough playing time,
communicate. Part of our job as a head coach and mentor to young
student/athletes is to build their communicative skillset as they transition
into adulthood. We stressed that when you look a coach in the eye, and
communicate in a mature adult way, respect will be gained on both sides.
In the summer of 2016, I experienced an interaction with an athlete that
seemed like a punch in the gut initially but as time marched forward the
interaction transitioned into a powerful story.

Vinny G was a young man at Marine City high school that everyone
enjoyed. He had an infectious smile. He engaged in conversation with both
students and teachers like an ole friendly sole. He was extremely intelligent,
an Eagle Scout and a hell of an athlete. Vinny was the type of student that
blended into a wide range of subsets in the school, and that was a
compliment to his communication skills.
As a sophomore we brought Vinny up to the varsity football squad, mainly
because he was ready both physically and mentally. He was our fullback and
during game 5 of that year, Vinny tore up his knee on a fluke play. He was
tripped up at the line of scrimmage and as he tried to regain his balance, the
force that was imparted on his leg caused his ACL and medial meniscus to
tear. He was out for the season and the injury required surgery.
To no one’s surprise, Vinny healed from the surgery quickly and attacked
his rehab. He seemed poised for his comeback and attended all our
preseason workouts, oozing with his branded positivity. As we neared the
start of the season, Vinny approached and uttered the words we have
preached so often, “hey coach, can I talk to you.”

Vinny shared that he was lacking confidence in his knee and felt he was not
ready to play football at a high level. He had decided to play tennis in the
fall and wanted to make sure he told me face to face.

In preparation for this blog, I spoke with Vinny recently and asked if this action was on his own, or
did his parents make him talk to me. Vinny stated, “no coach, that was all
me, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you face to face.”
My initial reaction was immediate anger and I had to pause to not let that
influence my response. My anger was twofold, one- how could he let me
down after I brought him up as a sophomore, two- how could I lose a kid to
tennis? (No offense tennis guys, just sharing my immature reaction).
My response deployed lessons learned from my high school head football
coach Al Drath. Al leaned more empathetic than most football coaches, and
truly built lifelong relationships with his athletes. I told Vinny, “I respect
that you are telling me face to face. I am not going to lie Vinny; I am
disappointed but I support your decision. I want you to think about
continuing to rehab and if your confidence comes back, you can join the
team any time during the season. Remember Vinny, we sometimes make
long playoff runs so even if you rejoin in late October, I am fine with that.”
When the conversation ended, Vinny shook my hand and walked away. As I
shared the news with other coaches, I quickly stopped any disparaging
comments and repeated the phrase, “he communicated the right way, he did
what we preached!” As the school year started, I made the conscious effort
to check on Vinny and see how he was doing. I continued to say hello to him
in the hall daily and treated him no differently than any other player.

Vinny rejoined the team his senior year and was asked to change positions.
We were in need of offensive lineman and because of Vinny’s strength and
intelligence I thought he could be an excellent guard in our wing T offense.
“Coach I will play wherever you need me,” was his response. Another
testament to Vinny’s character, a team first mentality. He learned the
position with amazing speed and became so proficient that I demanded he
tell neighboring lineman what to do on virtually every play. Watching game
film, I remember Vinny making adjustments from one play to the next when
facing larger opponents. It was a clinic on how to adjust pad level and angles
and this was his first year as a guard.

During our post season banquet, I remember getting choked up as I talked
about Vinny and his journey with high school football. In addition to the
great comeback story, Vinny also on a daily basis without exception would
come up to me at the end of practice, weights, or a game and thank me for the experience.

In my 33 years coaching football at Marine City, no other
athlete ever did that as consistently as this young man.
Vinny is now just shy of a Chemistry degree at Oakland University and
utilizes his skill set learned as an Eagle Scout as he refurbishes homes. He is
a shining example of how athletes should communicate with their coaches.
He is a player that I will be proud of forever and when we next talk I will
ask, “Hey Vinny can I talk to you, I want to kick your ass in pickle ball...let’s go!”